Dear Diary
by casey's aunt
Summary: Stephanie is pregnant and on the run from an abusive relationship with a new guy. Dante Milano DEA agent on Special Assignment to the Trenton PD. Will Ranger or Joe be her knight in shining armour this time? HEA TBD.
1. Chapter 1

Jan 25

Dear Diary,

It has been nine months since I chose between the two men in my life. The first few months were unbelievably great; we dated, went to the shore and had an awesome time with each other. All that changed when I finally gave in and moved into his house. "Lesson time" started two months after I moved in.

Lesson time consists of him telling me what I am doing wrong and punishing me for it. My punishment usually consists of a few hits to my stomach, legs and back. Never the face or anywhere a bruise could be seen. Sometimes he uses a riding crop and sometimes a belt.

I do not understand how someone can change so much. After the first month of living together he insisted I quit my job and not work at all. I resisted at first but then a skip shot me in the leg and I had a cast for six weeks so it was just easier to stop working. Now I sit in the house all day, watch cooking shows and attempt to cook and keep the house clean.

Yesterday I forgot to clean crumbs out of the toaster after I made our morning toast. To learn my lesson he tied me to the shower curtain rod and hit my legs with a baseball bat. The bat was a new one… After he left for work I finally got the courage to call Mary Lou. She came and picked me up and took me to an Urgent Care in Philadelphia. My femur is broken…and lucky me I am pregnant…


	2. Chapter 2

**don't own them, make no profit. **

**Feb 1st**

Dear Diary

WOW. I have to get off all these meds. If he finds them that will be another lesson. Plus I don't think I am feeling anymore. the last "lesson" I felt like I deserved it..how can I think that? This is killing me. Who have I become? I am not even sure I feel the pain anymore.

I am going to get out of here …. But where can I go. I burned so many bridges when I gave up my apartment. He only allows me to socialize with his co-workers. People I thought were my friends are turning a blind eye to the abuse. I wonder if they were ever really my friends. He has threatened my family and anyone else that I could turn to. Well there is one person I could turn to the guy on the road not taken. I see now I should have taken that road. Would he help me? Why would he even want to after the way I hurt him? Do I have the nerve to go to him? I realize now that I made a mistake. I am sure it is too late. Mary Lou wants to help me.

I am four weeks prego so I think I have about two months or maybe a little more to find a way out. In the meantime I have to cross all my I's and dot all my T's…(wait I think that is wrong.) to avoid "lesson time" . I need to protect my baby. Regardless of who it's father is. I am calling it Bug when I talk to it. I don't think it can hear me yet. I really hope it can't hear it's sperm donor.

**Feb 5th**

Dear Diary,

Guess who is going out-of-town on an assignment for the next month? This assignment could not come at a better time. More later! Woo Hoo.

**Feb 14th **

Valentines Day. Today I was reminded of the man I thought I was in love with. He actually brought me flowers and took me out to eat. Dinner included wine but I managed not to drink any. I can't let him figure out I am pregnant. After dinner he had to go into work. Dodged a "lesson" and sex tonight.

Just a few more days and he will be gone and I can relax and finish up my plans to get out of here. Mary Lou and I are planning on meeting to discuss my "exit plan" the day he leaves. So much to think about my head hurts.

**Feb 19th**

YAY he is gone. No idea where but he will be gone at least 4 weeks maybe more.

Lou and I met at Pino's to discuss "the plan"

We made a list and checked it twice...

1. Where do I want to go? Somewhere warm...maybe the South..Georgia maybe.

2. New name-Michelle Stephens

3. New Social Security number - Yikes...

4. Money - I have 45k in my savings. Need to start making daily withdraws...Lou and Lenny will take care of.

5. Car - can't take the Explorer. Will think about that when I get settled.

6. Make over - Need to have hair straightened and dyed...wait can I do that while I am PG? Need to research..

7. Letters to my family = this is probably not a good idea.

8. Disposable cell phone - Pick in first town bus stops in.

9. Letter to HIM...Heck no!

Man there are too many things to think about and it is time to make dinner. Hope I get it right.

**Feb 20**

Guess who I ran into today? Yep the guy from the road not taken. I spoke to him and kept going. God he looked great. I could not let him see my pain. I know there is nothing he can do for me. I made it home before I broke down. I wish my baby was his. I wish I was with him in the house he moved to after we broke up. I have to let this go I have to keep my spirits up for my little Bug.

**Feb 21**

Rex died.

**Feb 22nd **

Went to see my parents. I really feel bad about leaving my dad. I can't risk the sperm donor hurting my family. I know he could do it. I know he would.

**Feb 24th **

a Few Decisions Made!

1. Where do I want to go? Temporary decision made.

I will be leaving Trenton on a bus the day after the cast is removed from my leg. I am going to West Virginia to meet up with Mary Lou's cousin. I am staying in a small house in an old dried up coal mining town. The plan is for me to stay there until the baby is born and I can travel again. I have a feeling I am going to go stir crazy. It is a very rural area. Lou seems to think it will do me some good. We shall see.

I finally told my dad everything. He is using his contacts to help me with a new social and birth certificated etc.

Almost all the money has been withdrawn from the bank by Lou and Lenny. She is going to hold the bulk of the money until I get settled after the baby is born. I won't need much until then.

Arrangements have been made a truck to be waiting for me in WV.

Lou's cousin Tammy has a freind that is a midwife so I will not have to go to a hospital unless something goes wrong.

Ten more days and my cast will be gone. can't wait!

The plans are coming together! .

**March 1**

I ran into him again today. We actually talked. He is dating a lawyer from Newark. That hit me hard. He did ask me to come by and see his house when I have some free time. I think I am going to take him up on his invitation. After all we were/are friends, right? I just want some time with him before I disappear. I regret so much where he is concerned. My baby should be his. I should be planning my future with him and not having to run.

Cast come off in four days. Lou and I have decided to delay my "disappearance" two weeks. This will give me more time to prepare. I am not ready to say goodbye yet.

**March 6**

The cast is gone! The break healed better than they thought so nothing else is needed. Yay!

**March 10th**

I called him. I am going to his house tomorrow night for dinner. I am really nervous.


	3. Chapter 3

Still March 10th

I was supposed to go to HIS place for dinner tomorrow but he called just now and cancelled. He said something came up with work. It is probably for the best. I had a good cry after we got off the phone. I am blaming it on the pregnancy hormones. I realize I am being selfish..I am pregnant with another man's baby and HE has a new girlfriend. I still can't help but wonder where I would be if things hadn't went crazy for me last year.

Morelli and I were on again and doing great through the Christmas and New Year's holidays. I was even thinking about giving up my apartment. Mid January he was chosen for a six month out-of-town undercover assignment….with Terry Gilman. Yep his old high school flame. We had the fight to end all fights and decided we were off.

A month after Joe left Ranger returned to town from being "in the wind" for the past few months. He showed up at my apartment the second day he was home and we ended up in my bed. I was weak and the shower massager was not cutting it anymore! We ended up "dating" for the next two months. He decided I was getting too attached so he reminded me his life did not lend itself to relationship. Two days later he was in the wind again and I stayed in the bed for three days.

In March The Burg was buzzing with news that there was a new eligible Catholic, Italian, heterosexual male in town. Dante Milano moved to Trenton to work with the TPD as part of a special joint venture with the DEA. Burg Mother's with single daughters were showing up at his door with food, offers to do house work etc. My mother was right there in the thick of it. I guess I should not have been surprised when I showed up for Sunday dinner and Dante was sitting in Morelli's chair. I was polite through dinner and quickly made an excuse to leave. Thinking that would be the last I saw of Dante Milano

Two weeks later Lula, Connie, Mary Lou and I decided we needed a ladies night. I had not been out dancing in a loooong time and was really looking forward to letting my hair down. The girls all came over to my house and had a few drinks . By the time we got to the club (by cab) I was feeling no pain. A few of the Rangeman guys showed up and we danced and had a great time. After a trip to the ladies room I ran into Dante. He asked me to dance, one thing led to another and we ended up back at my place. Like I said before the shower massager was not cutting it anymore, Ranger didn't want me, Morelli was off with Terry Gilman doing who knows what. So why not?

Dante and I started dating after that. He was a gentleman, took me out to nice dinners, movies, dancing etc. Basically he romanced me in a way I had never been. My mother was in 7th heaven. I had landed the guy all the mother's talked about.

Three months into our relationship Dante had to go to DC for meetings. I normally went with him but Vinnie had a lot of skips so I stayed home that week.

Two days after Dante left my doorbell rang. I checked the peephole and only saw flowers. I cautiously opened the door and there HE was asking to talk to me. After so many months Part of me wanted to tell him to leave but a bigger part wanted to hear him out. He apologized for how things had ended with us before he left town, he wanted me back and he wanted a commitment only with me. Talk about being confused...i was there tenfold.


	4. Chapter 4

March 11th

Dear Diary,

Plans are still in the works for me to leave on the 26th. Fifteen days and so much to do. But I can't stop reflecting back on the past year.

After HE came back to town and made his declaration at my apartment things I decided I needed to make a decision once and for all. The past few years a had bounced back between Morelli and Ranger, I thought that was over when they both left town and I met Dante.

When Dante came back from DC we sat down and I explained that I was confused and needed some time. Since he worked at the TPD he knew most of the details of my relationships with Joe and Ranger. He was not happy that I was confused to say the least. We decided to take two weeks apart so I could think and sort out my feelings. I was so confused and conflicted. Here I had two amazing men that wanted me...again.

After the two weeks were up and some serious soul searching on my part I decided I needed to stay with Dante. After everything that had happened with HIM last year I could not go thru that again.

I moved into Dante's house in Princeton. Like I said earlier the first few months were great. We did everything as a couple. We went out with other couples from the station. Even went out with Eddie and Shirley (my cousin the whiner) a few times. After the "lessons" began we tried to continue going out with friends but Dante decided I flirted with his co-workers so we stopped going out.

So that brings me to today.

I am looking forward to leaving and dreading it at the same time. I am going someplace I have never been before to live around people I don't know. At least I have the money from the last couple of high bond distractions I did for Rangeman before I moved in with Dante. I had kept the money a secret and before the lessons began I was thinking about using some of it for a trip to Italy for us. After the lessons began I knew the money would come in handy.

Dante called today. His trip was extended again so he will be home the week of April 1st. I will be long gone by then! Good luck ironing your own tighty whity's Asswipe!

I went to the dr in Philly today. Had an ultrasound. Could not tell a lot about the Bug but the heartbeat was so strong and they said everything looked good. I am due September 25th. I am so excited. I know it is too early to think about names but I am thinking Sophia for a girl and Giovanni for a boy.

HE called and asked me over to his new place tomorrow night. Trying to decide what to wear. Luckily I don't have much of a pooch yet from Bug. I wonder if the lawyer girlfriend will be there. I wonder if they are living together. I wonder if she has met his family.

HE brought up Dante. Said he had heard his assignment was extended and he really wanted to talk to me before Dante gets back. Maybe this is what tomorrow night is about.

More tomorrow. Hope I can sleep tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**March 12th**

I have thrown up all morning. Hope this passes before tonight.

Lots to do today. I think all my bases are covered as far as disappearing on the 26th. I have enough cash to last for a while, house and truck are taken care of in WV. I am leaving all my ID's etc here. Will Dante realize I have ran or will he think someone has kidnapped me again. I really don't care but hate to think about worrying my friends who do not know what is going on. I am not really concerned about most of the guys at TPD because I think they have an idea of what my life has been like with Dante. My dad can handle the family.

**March 13th**

Last night was nice. I got to his house around 6. He cooked steaks and baked potatoes on his grill. It was in interesting evening.

Turns out he is no longer dating the lawyer from Newark. I know I have no right to be happy about that...very selfish of me.

We talked about what my relationship with Dante. He had heard the rumors of the abuse. I was not sure what to say so I lied. I told him my relationship was fine and the rumors were not true. I made my choice when I stayed with Dante. Yes it was the wrong choice but you live and learn I guess. He said he understood and told me if I ever needed him I knew where to find him.

He kissed me when I left and it took all of my willpower not to throw him down on the floor. Pregnancy hormones are killing me.

Very sad...that is probably the last time I will see him for a very long time...If I ever see him again.

Enough sadness Stephanie! Time to think about Bug and how happy we will be just the two of us.

**March 14th**

Morning

I have to leave now. The stress of waiting and worrying is getting to be too much. My dad is borrowing a car and taking me to Philly tomorrow. Tammy and her husband are picking me up at the bus station and we are going on to my new home.

Going to lunch with Mary Lou and Lenny today. We are going Amichi. It is a new Italian place that not a lot of people have caught on to yet. Hopefully we will not run into anyone from the Burg, TPD or Rangeman. I am not up to seeing a lot of people today.

Amichi was great. And of course there were several people we knew there. We were able to iron out all my plans. My dad has my suitcases with my new clothes. I am not taking anything with me.

When we were leaving HE was walking in. We spoke and he once again told me to call him if I needed him. I hugged him and left.

Had dinner with my parents this evening. Last time I will have my mom's meatloaf and pineapple upside down cake for a while...Kinda sad.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Time for bed..big day for me and the Bug tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**March 18th**

I am finally out of Trenton. Trip was uneventful I was able to sleep most of the ride. I got a little car sick- the mountain roads were killing me.

I slept all day yesterday so getting settled in today. The house is nice and quiet. We are at the end of a dirt road with only one way in and one way out.

Went to "town" this afternoon and bought a couple of burn phones. Going to try to call Mary Lou later.

I can't sleep. I am having morning sickness at night now. Well it could be the fact that I ate almost an entire cake by myself. What can I say I needed comfort food.

**April 5th**

Talked to Mary Lou today. Lots of news.

Dante is back in town and playing it cool. He has told everyone I am out-of-town visiting his mother. Not sure what his motive is but I am sure he is looking for me. Rumor has it he has visited both Ranger and Joe at their homes for "friendly" visits lately. He also wormed his way into the Rangeman Poker night last night. Did he really think I would hide from him in Trenton?

Grandma tried to open a closed casket at Stiva's and was thrown out. My mother is loving telling everyone I am visiting Dante's family the Milano's in Florida at their winter home.

I went to the dr today. Everything looks good with the Bug. Next month I am going to have an ultrasound. Considering my circumstances I am going to go ahead and find out if Bug is a boy or girl. I need to get everything I am going to need for the first few month just in case.

Tammy and her husband are going to plant a garden at my house. Can you imagine me getting out there picking tomatoes or corn? Not sure how many layers of mascara that would need. HA HA.

I have a dog now. Rosie just showed up one day and stayed. I like having her here because she barks and goes crazy when anyone drives up. She seems very protective. She and I have been out walking a lot.

**April 10th**

Talked to my dad. Dante is still sticking to the visiting his story that I am visiting his mother. I think Joe and Ranger are starting to get suspicious Joe showed up at my dad's lodge yesterday and was asking questions about me. My dad heard through the Burg Rumor mill that Ranger visited Mary Lou today. I haven't talked to her yet to find out what was discussed.

I am starting to feel Bug move more and more. It is strange. I am getting so excited about find out if it is a Sophia or Giovanni.

**April 15th**

I didn't think it was go this far! The Burg is going crazy with rumors.

1. I ran off with Lester who left town on a mission around the same time I left.

2. Dante has killed me and gotten rid of the body

3. Dante has locked me in the basement of his house.

4. I am hiding out at Rangeman.

5. I ran off to Vegas to elope with a former skip.

6. I got high with Mooner and Dougie and no one has seen me since.

7. I am in the witness protection program.

8. I have been spotted in Atlantic City stripping at a bar called The Forum.

9. I am in the hospital under an assumed name because I had a nervous breakdown.

10. I ran off with Joe or Ranger (both are in Trenton)

**April 20th**

The weather is getting nice here. Mornings are still cool though. Rosie and I are able to walk in the morning and the evenings before dark. I will glad when the time changes so we will have more daylight.

The sky is unbelievable here. Being way from the city lights you can see every star in the sky. I wish I had someone to share it with.

**May 2nd **

It's a girl! I am going back and forth on the name now. I may have to wait until she is born.

**May 5th**

Just heard that Dante has left Trenton. He told my mother that he was going to Florida to see me and his family. We are on high alert here. I don't think there is any way he could find me but I am not leaving the house. Tammy is walking Rosie and grocery shopping for me.

After Dante left town **HE** went to see Mary Lou and Lenny. They think I should call him and just let him know I am ok. Tammy is going to get me a new burner phone and then I will think about it.


	7. Chapter 7

_I can't get Stephanie out of my head today. She has a lot on her mind and wants to get it all out. :) _

_I don't own anything and my bank account shows I am not getting paid for anything. Have a good one! Kim _

**May 5th Cinco de Mayo**

Tammy and I made tacos and Virgin Margarita's in honor of Cinco de Mayo. It is funny I didn't even miss the tequilla! Of course Jose has never really been a friend of mine haha.

I am learning to cook a few things. Haven't burned the house down yet. I am actually enjoying some of it. Last night I fried cornbread.

The rhododendron's are in bloom and it is beautiful here. The weather has been so nice I have slept with the windows open the past few nights.

**May 15th**

Dante thinks I am in California! Vinnie's sister lives in Thousand Oaks so my dad sent some packages to her and Dante followed the trail there!

Joe and Ranger are hot on my trail as well. I would not mind ONE of them finding me but not both! I still need to call HIM!

Tammy and her family are planning a trip to Key West so I am sending some letters for them to mail to my parents, Grandma and the Bonds office. That should throw Dante for another loop!

The baby is moving more and more. I am still bouncing names around. Sophia Rose, Margaret Rose, Ophelia Rose, Shelby Rose I want something unique. The house I am living in was built by the railroad for a man named Shelby at the turn of the century. He worked for the railroad and was a minister. So I have been leaning towards Shelby. Wouldn't my mother love that my baby was named after an Baptist Preacher? Ha ha.

**May 20th**

I am very homesick today.

**May 25th**

Dante is in Key West! Ha ha. Next month Tammy has a friend going to France. Dante is going to get some frequent flyer miles this summer!

I am calling HIM tonight. Mary Lou said she talked to him and he is very worried about me. Begged her to tell him where I am.

Burg rumors are still going strong. My mother is still sticking with the story that I am in Florida with Dante's family. My dad finally had to tell my Grandma the truth. She has been trying to convince him to let her come here to stay with me but I don't think my blood pressure could take it.

My BP has been up and the dr's are watching it. I am going to start seeing the midwife soon. She will come here to the house and deliver the baby. There is a history of a lot of birth's in this house. For some reason that is comforting to me. We are trying to work it out so Mary Lou can come and stay with me for a week after the baby is born. Since she has family here she has an excuse to visit.

I have been working in the garden and it is very relaxing! I am going to learn to can vegetables and make jam! Can you imagine?

I made a big mistake tonight. I hope it does not come back and bite me on the butt. I signed into my old email account. WOW was I overwhelmed. I had about 100 emails from Dante. They started out sweet, he missed me, please come home, things would be better etc . The most recent ones he said he was going to hunt me down and kill me. Of course I saved all those.

I think after the baby is born and I can travel I will go home. I have some proof of the things he has done. I can at least get him fired from the DEA with the threats he has made to me. I am researching this avenue.

**June 1st**

I finally broke down and called **him** tonight...got the answering service! I left this message "Hey this is Steph. I am good. Don't worry. I will call again soon."

Bug is growing by leaps and bounds...or maybe it is just me growing by leaps and bounds ha ha!

I have missed Pino's pizza so Tammy picked one up from a local Italian place today. It was great! There is something to be said for locally owned places.

**June 6th**

I have started reading a lot. Currently reading Fifty Shades of Grey. All I can say about that one is **oh my**! I might have to read it again if I ever have another man in my life. ha ha.

I have done some online shopping for baby stuff. It has been fun. I am using Tammy's credit card and having it all shipped to her house. They are coming over this weekend to put it all together.

I have forwarded the threatening emails from Dante to my father. He is going to get with Joe Juniak the current chief of police and see what can be done.

Burg rumors about me are going crazy again. Mary Lou said she can't even keep up with them.

**June 7th**

For the first time since I have been here I received mail! I got letters from Lula, Connie, and **HIM**. They gave the letters to Mary Lou and she mailed them in the Family newletter she usually sends Tammy each month.

I am going to try to call **HIM** again tonight. I have about 30 minutes on my last burner phone. Need to remember to put that on my WalMart list.

Dialing now and it is ringing! More later!


	8. Chapter 8

**J****une 8th**

It was really good to talk to **HIM**. We talked over 2 hours! I don't think we have ever talked that much on the phone to each other. We tried not to rehash everything that happened between us last year. I tried to explain to him the reasons I chose Dante. He tried to explain what happened after he left town.

We talked about my relationship with Dante. He knew I was lying to him when I told him everything was fine. I tried to explain why I felt like I couldn't be honest with him before. He tried to understand but I am not sure he did.

**He** asked me if I would consider giving him another chance when I return to town and everything is settled once and for all with Dante. I was not sure what to say. Part of me wanted to say "YES COME AND GET ME NOW!" But I know I can't go back to Trenton pregnant with Dante in town. I told him I would think about it. I have to remember that it is not just me now. I have the Bug to think about, I have to put her first. He doesn't even know about her. But honestly he is the type guy that would probably love my baby regardless of who it's father is. I need some direction here. Do I go ahead and tell him? I know it would not get back to Dante through him or do I wait and show up with a baby? Just showing up is not an option I know. I am going to have to talk to Mary Lou about this.

He asked me to call him again in a few days. I need to get a new burn phone. Gotta remember to put that on my WalMart list.

**June 10th**

I wanted a man's view of the situation so I talked to Tammy's husband Mark, that about my dilemma. He thinks I need to be up front with HIM about the baby. He says I am leaving him hanging by not telling him. I should give him to option of getting out before it gets any deeper. He has a point. Still going to talk to Mare about it.

On a lighter note. I have been going back and forth about the name again. I am liking Margaret Rose not and calling her Maggie Rose.

**June 15th**

Called HIM last night. He filled me in on Trenton news. Lula and Tank are dating again. Grandma has a new boyfriend Junior Taylor and he is 90! Connie is dating Hal from Rangeman! Didn't see that one coming! Eddie and Shirley are having another baby and it is a girl! If I ever get back to Trenton our babies can have play dates.

He said he heard Dante was out-of-town again. I think I slept a total of two hours last night. I don't want to have to move.

Trying to stay positive. Who would think to look for me on top of a hill at the end of a dirt road in West Virginia? We have been very careful with the burn phones. No mail has went out from me from here. If he knows where I am no idea how he would find out.

**June 25th**

I have called HIM a few times. We have avoided any conversations about a relationship. We have been mainly catching up. He can't believe I am cooking and working in a garden.

**June 30th **

Mary Lou thinks I should go ahead and tell **him** about the baby. I am still thinking about it. Maybe around Labor day. Not my Labor Day but the Holiday Labor day. :)

**July 4th!**

Going to Tammy's for a cook out tonight. Looking forward to getting off the hill for a little while. Man I am starting to talk like the folks here.

Cook out was a lot of fun. A few of Mark's unmarried co-workers were there. It was fun to flirt a little. Not that anyone would be interested in my I look like a beached whale already! My hormones are on overdrive again. I need a new shower massager!

So far so sign of Dante here.

**August 1st**

WOW this summer is going fast. I have been talking to HIM about every other day. Conversations have been good. We talk about our days, what we had to eat, he fills me in on Trenton news etc.

He had news about Dante. The operation that Dante has been working with the TPD on is coming to a close. The DEA (Dante) and the TPD have been working on busting up a huge drug ring since Dante came to town last year. This group is running drugs between Trenton, Princeton and Newark. They have people bringing the drugs straight from Columbia. They are expecting it to be a huge undertaking and are bringing in the Rangeman staff to help with the takedowns. He said the meetings he has attended there has been a lot of animosity between the three of them. I can't imagine the man I am running from, the man I love (though he doesn't really know it), and the man who kicked me to the curb in the same room together. I would love to be a fly on the wall!

My dad and Joe Juniak are holding off on passing along the threatening emails to Dante's bosses until the drug bust is complete. Too much work has gone into it for the DEA to have to bring in someone new. I can see the bigger picture. The drugs need to be off the streets. Bug and I are safe for the time being.

**August 15th **

Grandma eloped! My dad is estatic and my mother is hitting the bottle hard. Valerie is pregnant with number 6. This one is a boy. Thank God maybe they will not have anymore!

**August 26th**

One month until my due date! I am getting so excited. The nursery is ready. All the pink stuff has been washed and put away. I am going to pack my bag tomorrow just to be safe. Plus I have been a little bored.

**September 2nd**

Dante is on an airplane to Charleston West Virginia. I am packing and he are heading to Virginia for a few days. We are going to see what he does here and try to come back. I really don't want to have to find another dr or midwife to deliver my baby. This could not have happened at a worse time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sept 3 again**

On the road with Tammy's sister Kim. We are going to drive for a few hours and then get a hotel room and wait a see if Dante shows up in town or at the house. Tammy and Mark stayed behind to do damage control if needed.

Having Braxton Hicks contractions again. It is probably the stress. I really wish I could call home, it would help me so much to talk to my dad, Mary Lou or Him. I don't want to chance calling one of them now since Dante seems to be on my trail.

I still have not told him about the baby. I just can't figure out a way to bring it up. I have done a lot of soul-searching. I need to figure out if the feelings I am having for him are real or if I am looking for someone to save me from my situation once again. It is not fair to him to bring him into my mess of a life again if I am not in it for the long haul. I have to figure out how I am going to get around the Dante thing. I know I have to stay away from him and keep him away from my baby. Not our baby MY baby. The last time I talked to Mary Lou she had an idea she wanted to talk over with me. I am hoping to talk to her in the next day or so.

* * *

**September 5th**

Dante has not left Charleston since he arrived. It is starting to look like he is not in WV looking for me. Yay! Maybe I can go back and have my baby has planned.

We are staying in a hotel in Big Stone Gap Virginia. I read a series of books about Big Stone a few years ago and wanted to visit. It is a neat little town.

The baby has moved a lot lately. I am taking that as a sign that maybe she is getting in place for her birth. I am getting more and more nervous and feeling really alone. I know I have people who care about me around me but it is not the same as having my family, Mary Lou or a man who I love to share this time with.

* * *

**Sept 7th**

Dante has left WV! Based on the pictures some friends of friends were able to take it seems he was there for a series of meetings with a blond woman who reminded me of Terry Gillman. Maybe he is moving on and will leave Trenton when his job there is done and forget all about me. Could I get so lucky? Probably not.

We are heading back to my little house on the hill today.

* * *

**September 11th**

Reflecting on 9/11/2001 today. Went to a service at a Veterans Memorial. It was very touching. I thought a lot about Ranger, Tank and all the Rangeman guys and their service to our country as well.

* * *

**October 1st**

Maggie Rose Plum was born today at 5pm in delivery room 5. She weighed 7lbs 8 oz and was 20 inches long. I am exhausted but so very happy. She has curly dark hair and blue eyes. I was in labor for 36 hours so Mary Lou was able to make it in time to be with me. As much as I hated being in labor that long I am so thankful she was able to get here in time.

* * *

**October 3rd **

I received flowers today from HIM congratulating my on the birth of my daughter. He knew all along.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay in posting. RL has been crazy. **

**I don't own the characters. **

* * *

**October 10**

Margret Rose Plum is such a good baby. She only cries when she needs a diaper change or is hungry. I am breast feeding. That was strange at first but we both have the hang of it now. Mary Lou left a few days ago. She was a big help to me while she was here. I have been a little depressed since she left.

I have talked to HIM almost every day. I am glad to have my friend back. We have not talked about out relationship other than friendship again. He thinks I should return to Trenton and Dante be damned. He hasn't lived with him and doesn't know what he is capable of. We are thinking I could get a restraining order based on the threatening emails Dante has sent. He is going to talk to a judge that owes him a favor.

I talked to Lula and told her about Maggie Rose. I told her she could tell Tank. I miss them both.

**October 15**

My dad is here. He brought gifts from Mary Lou, Lula and Tank. We are having a good visit. He adores Maggie Rose and she is very comfortable with him. I dread when he leaves. I will be so lonely for home again.

**Oct 20**

Dr's appt for Maggie today. She has gained 10 ounces and is doing well.

**October 31 **

Halloween! I am going to miss dressing up and giving out candy at my parent's house. Tammy and I found a newborn Rose outfit for Maggie to wear. She looked so cute. I am looking forward to taking my baby around the Burg next year.

**November 5**

Plans are in the works for Maggie and me to go home. I want to be home for her first Christmas. I want to be able to take my baby to Midnight Mass. I want to have her christened in the church I was christened in. I have asked Mary Lou and Lula to share godmother duties and Lenny and Tank will be her godfather's.

**List of things I need to have in the works or complete before we can go home.**

1. Restraining order against Dante

2. A place to live.

3. new car

4. Job - I can't go back to Vinnie's.

5. Furniture

**November 10**

My dad finally told my mother, Val and Albert everything. It really is a relief to me.

Plan are underway for the restraining order. Joe and Ranger got together and came up with a plan. Mary Lou and Lenny are coming to get me next week. We are going to travel to Philly and meet Angie Morelli and Grandma Bella at Joe's sister Cathy's house. They are going to take care of Maggie while I continue to Trenton to take care of all the legal issues I need to. I had two options..Philly with Joe's mom or Newark with Ranger's. Since I have known the Morelli's my entire life I felt like that was the best option. Not exactly excited about Grandma Bella caring for Maggie but at least Angie and Cathy will be there. I would like to have my mother or Val there but the guys thought it would be less obvious to Dante if they were in town when I arrived.

I have talked to HIM every night. It relief that he is helping me. He suggested that I put his name on Maggie's birth certificate and we tell everyone we were having an affair while I was with Dante. I guess with my track record some people may believe that. He even went so far as to send me a diaper bag with the initials MRM on it.

In preparation for the restraining order I have copies of all the threatening emails Dante has sent me since I left Trenton on March. My dad has also picked copies off my medical records detailing the times I went to the ER while we were together. There are pictures as well. I don't think getting the order is going to be an issue...Dante not breaking it may be an issue.

**November 11**

I am getting nervous about going home. I have been able to settle a few things. My dad found a furnished apartment that is secured by Rangeman for Maggie and I to move into. He signed a month by month lease so I would have time to look for a permanant place after everythins is settled with Dante.

My grandmother sold old blue and bought me a Ford Explorer. So the car issue is taken care of.

Two more days and we head to Philly.


End file.
